Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Remembering classes is the toughest part

So, it's 6am, and since about, I dunno, 9pm last night, I recorded a voiceover for this client's video (read: class work), edited it down, found dozens of stock photo images, placed them all in properly, animated them, added a few video clips, and placed some generic music behind it. It's... ludicrous.

I used a clip of surprised kitten and the phrase "I put studying before doing other things, like watching TV or playing with animals." I'm not kidding.

It may sound like I've finally snapped and started wearing a tinfoil hat (also in the video, there was a photo of a man in a tinfoil hat), but I should specify that I sent the client the script, along with the invoice and contract, and he approved them all and returned the contract signed. He was into it, and willing to spend his cash on it.

The client gave me virtually no information himself or the class, and the presentation was supposed to be very personal, and relate to his success in college and, specifically, that course. When I asked him the name of the class, this was his response.


That's it. One word.

It seemed that, if I asked more than one question, he only answered one, so I slowed it down a bit. I later asked again, the name of the course with which he was hiring me to do a video for. I asked what DS106 was an acryonym for.

"I have no idea honestly class description only says "group success" I'm forced to take this class before graduating because my freshman year I failed 2 classes"

HE DOESN'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE COURSE HE'S TAKING. And, being that it's the end of the semester, this suggests he's been taking the course, this is his final, and he DOESN'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE COURSE HE'S FINISHING.

So, I worked with what little information I had, and literally outsourced the would-be term paper part of the project out to CJM Venter, because I literally couldn't write a paper about a dude's life who I didn't know constructed entirely out of fiction, bullshit, and cardboard.

Sort of like the props in Star Wars. Seriously, do you see a lightsaber there, because I fucking do.

  He used a lot of jive words and synonyms for success, and sprinkled some English instructor juju on it. He created a backstory for him where he was doing poorly in all aspects of his college career, his personal relationships, and his professional life. Even his parents thought he was a putz. Then, his older brother, who was always more successful, likeable, and apparently, nail-able than him, went to jail for driving under the influence (pictured in video: alcohol, pills, pop rocks/soda).

No, no, officer, really, I put the pop rocks in my mouth, choked a little, and when I drank the soda, I thought I was going to die, it was like a coronary in my face.

Then, he got his life together, did better in class, and is hoping to become a pilot or join the police academy after college graduation (pictured in video: blow-up pilot from Airplane, cast of Police Academy).

He approved that script, I did the video to suit. Good luck, man, let's hope your professor has the same sense of humor we do. I'm going to bed.

No comments:

Post a Comment